This is a series focusing specifically on marriage relationships. When someone says “I do” to someone else they promise a lot of things. Sometimes those promises get mixed up. We are looking at lasting promises that make marriage last. Four promises you need to make beyond the promise of “I do.”
Last week’s promise: I will pursue God first and my spouse second.
Promise 2 – I will always pursue my spouse
- Pre marriage people do many things to pursue their spouse. Why does this often change once you get married?
- That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.(Genesis 2:24) The word united means to cling to, to adhere to, to catch by pursuit or to pursue with affection and devotion.
- The bible has one of the greatest stories ever told about pursuit. This occurred between Jacob and Rachel. (Genesis 29)
- Jacob worked for Rachel 7 years but was tricked into marrying someone else. He then worked another 7 years to have Rachel as his wife. Jacob received Rachel as his wife, but he still owed Laban another 7 years of work. (Genesis 29:27-28).
- Jacob worked for Rachel after he already had her. God wants us to continue to work for our spouse after we already have them.
- To those not married, if you are dating someone and there is no mutual pursuit, you should reevaluate the relationship. Once married it’s typical that this pursuit becomes less.
Three Ways to bring pursuit back into your marriage:
- Find something good to say about your spouse daily.
- Find means to take the time to look. Notice something good; search for something amazing and then be intentional about speaking this to your spouse.
- But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.(Hebrews 3:13) Encouraging each other daily keeps sin out of your marriage. It keeps temptation at bay.
- Two things to note:
- Guys pursue her with words of affection-these are words that are non-sexual
- Ladies pursue him with words of affirmation-your husband is becoming who you see him as
- Do something special regularly.
- This is thinking of something a little extra, planning or anticipating something more than just what you normally do in your every day.
- Make this a habit in your life. Schedule it into your calendar if you need to.
- If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. (James 4:17)
- If you want something different, be it.
- Don’t point your finger at your spouse and wait for them to change. Don’t gripe about what your spouse is not.
- Become who God wants you to be. If you want something that doesn’t exist yet, then be that something.
- If you don’t like what you are getting, look at what you are giving.
- To get what you once had you must do what you once did.
2 Scriptures that underscore pursuit in marriage:
- Proverbs 5:1-2; 18-19 (it’s wise to continually pursue your spouse)
- Ephesians 5:28-29 (nourish and cherish your spouse)
I will always pursue my spouse.