SERMON NOTES | Truly/Madly/Deeply- Right Partnership
Written by Phil Kniesel
February 21, 2021

This is a series focusing specifically on marriage relationships. We are looking at lasting promises that make marriage last. Four promises you need to make beyond the promise of “I do”. 

Promise 1:  I will pursue God first and my spouse second. 

Promise 2:  I will always pursue my spouse. 


Promise 3 – It’s not about “me,” it’s about “we” 

  • Jesus raised the bar for marriage and called us to die to self. (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6)
  • This is not about creating guilt from the past but about building a strong foundation for the future.
  • Philippians 2:3-5 is key to having a “we” instead of “me” outlook. Do nothing from a selfish vantage point. 
  • Selfish ambition is the excessive and exclusive regard for yourself to the exclusion of others. It pushes three things: I want; I need; I deserve. I want drives I need targets necessities. I deserve lands demands. 
  • Me first ends in separation. We first ends in satisfaction. 
  • A selfless individual asks what does my spouse want/need/deserve? This takes the focus off yourself and onto the enhancement of the relationship. 


Contract or Covenant 

  • A contract is a legally binding document between at least two parties and governs the right and duties of the parties involved. It is rooted in mutual distrust.
  • A covenant is an oath bound relationship between two people with a divine aspect to it. It is rooted in mutual  
  • In the Bible God made covenants with people. Each time a covenant was broken, the people experienced consequences outside of the intended best for them. (Adam and Eve)
  • God made a covenant with Noah, Abraham and the nation of Israel. Hebrews 11 describes how their faith in the covenant allowed them to see and experience their promise as well as face any obstacle in their way. 
  • A covenant declares“I won’t go back on my word.” I’m all in – 100%. 


Covenant Partnership 

  • This is mutual submission and godly leadership.


  1. Mutual submission
  • Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Eph. 5:21)
  • To submit means to yield oneself to the will of another.  
  • To yield means to slow down, to look all ways before moving forward. To make sure nothing is going to come into your path in order to cause a crash, a collision or a setback. 
  • You yield yourself to the will of your spouse.


  1. Godly leadership
  • Ephesians 5:21-28
  • Godly leadership mirrors the way Christ loved the church.  Christ gave his life for us and displayed His love in this way.  He completely died to self.
  • Paul calls husbands to lead in the home.  Leading doesn’t mean you make all the decisions – that is a    
  • Leading sets the tone and the direction of the marriage and the home.
  • This is done through submission – through yielding.


Your marriage will only be as good as both of you decide it to be. It’s an everyday choice from both parties to stay at it. There will be times when you don’t feel like it. We can’t be guided by our feelings. Marriage isn’t measured by feelings; it’s measured by our commitment. Feelings will follow commitment when you stay committed.   

Take home 

  • “We can be united or we can be untied. The difference is all about where we place the I.” (Craig Groeschel) 
  • Where do you need to shift your attitude; your heart, to live out the promise of we not me?
  • When we get married, we say I do to a whole bunch of things. Do is a verb. It has 5 forms: do; does; doing; did; done. “I do” declares a promise that doesn’t end.   
  • This week flip “me” to “we!”


It’s not about me, it’s about we.